A Gentle Answer

June 2

2 Samuel 12-13

Psalm 68:15-18

Proverbs 15:1-2

Acts 2:1-13

A Gentle Answer

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise makes knowledge look good, but the mouth of fools pours forth folly.”  Proverbs 15:1-2 LSB

This is a lesson that we all need to be reminded of frequently.  This wisdom applies to every relationship we have.  Often the thing that makes a difference is not the words we say but the tone in which we say it.  With our spouse, we get a totally different response if we say something with a gentle tone than we do if we yell, nag or speak with a condescending attitude.  With our children, yelling and screaming may result in making them do what we say, but it teaches them negative communication skills.  In the long run this leads to future conflict and does not create a peaceful home.  In relationships with friends, knowing what to say at the right time can prevent a lot of conflict and strife.  Dealing with our boss or coworkers, we can accomplish a lot more with a gentle tone than a harsh one.  Responding in anger never accomplishes what we want.  Even if we are right, we can end up looking bad and making things worse. 

Verse 2 explains that people listen to someone they consider to be wise.  Their words seem to come from knowledge and understanding that is good, but when someone is thought to be a fool, no one wants to heed their advice because it seems to be folly.  “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent and discerning if they hold their tongue.”  Proverbs 17:28 NIV   It is always a good idea to think before we speak.  Spouting off the first thing that comes to our minds never turns out to be a good idea in any situation.  When someone makes you angry, the best thing to do is stop, take a breath (or 10), and say a quick prayer asking God to give you the right words to respond or to help you keep your mouth shut.  Psalm 39:1 is a good verse to memorize and recall in those situations, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.” NIV  I love that image.  I need a muzzle to put on my mouth to keep it shut sometimes.  It is good to remember that we don’t need to share our opinion about everything.  If we talk too much, people will get tired of what we have to say.  Sometimes it is better to hold our tongue and let them ask for our thoughts instead of inserting ourselves into the situation.  Allowing the Holy Spirit to control our tongues brings gentleness and peace into the situation instead of anger and defensiveness.  I’m not suggesting that we should avoid saying anything negative or speaking truth into a situation.  We are called to be salt and light in the world which inevitably means that we will have to say things that people don’t always want to hear.  But the tone and attitude we use matters.  We can accomplish much more with gentle reproof and correction than with harsh condemnation.