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Children and Parents

Writer's picture: Christy SchuetteChristy Schuette

September 9

Isaiah 3-5

Psalm 103:6-10

Proverbs 22:9-11

Ephesians 6:1-9


Children and Parents


“Children, obey your parents as you would the Lord, because this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. Fathers don’t stir up anger in your children but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1-4


Family relationships are complicated. None of us are perfect, so none of us get it right all the time. Sometimes we just completely blow it as moms, dads, and children. We love the people in our family more than anything, but sometimes we say things we shouldn’t or do things that are not very loving. Our families know us better than anyone. They see the good, the bad and the ugly. We can let down our guard with them because we know they love us, and we can be ourselves with them. Unfortunately, sometimes that leads to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Family relationships always require mercy and grace. No family is perfect. No mom and dad are perfect. No kids are perfect. We all have regrets, and we can look back over our lives with a lot of what ifs and if onlys. At this point we cannot change the past. We can’t undo and redo anything, but we can move forward in a healthier way. These verses give us a good place to start. Children, obey your parents because this is good. God gave you the parents He gave you for a reason. He picked them for you. You may not like everything about your parents, but they are the ones God chose. Our responsibility as children is to obey them and as adults, we are to honor them. Sometimes this is difficult to do and will require a lot of prayer and patience from God to help us do this in a way that is pleasing to Him. This may look different for different people depending on your circumstances, but God expects us to honor our parents.


The second instruction is for fathers not to stir up anger in their children. Other translations use the word exasperate or frustrate. We all cause our children to be angry sometimes when they don’t get their way. That is not what this is talking about. This is referring to being arbitrary and controlling. It is the “because I said so” mindset. Don’t get me wrong, children should obey their parents just because they said so, but parents have a responsibility to make sure their instructions are reasonable and wise. We must train our children in the instruction of the Lord. This may cause them to not be happy with us sometimes because they want to do what they want and not what is best. Prayer and seeking the Lord will help us to make wise decisions and not arbitrary or inconsistent ones.


We all have relationships that are more difficult than others. Some people are hard to get along with. It may be a parent, a child, or a sibling. Old hurts and unresolved issues can complicate relationships. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 Sometimes it is not possible to live at peace because the other person refuses to restore the relationship. We are not responsible for their actions. We are responsible for ours. We must do our part. We must do everything we can to bring about peace and then we pray and leave it in God’s hands. In a sermon recently, my pastor was talking about reconciliation and restoration. He said that reconciliation may never happen. Old hurts and problems can’t always be fixed in a satisfactory way. But reconciliation is not necessary to bring about a restoration of the relationship. Sometimes it is best to choose to move on and restore the relationship and just leave the past in the past. This is hard. It requires choosing to forgive. It requires setting aside your own interests and putting others above yourself. It involves deciding that the relationship is more important than being vindicated or getting your way. Being right isn’t always as important as being at peace. Prayerfully ask God for guidance in restoring any relationships that are strained.





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