Parents And Children

September 22

Isaiah 37-38

Psalm 106:6-12

Proverbs 23:15-16

Colossians 3:18-4:1

Parents And Children

“Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing to the Lord.  Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.”  Colossians 3:20-21 LSB 

Parents often quote verse 20 to their children, but they leave out verse 21.  This is a challenging teaching on both sides.  Clearly it is important that children obey their parents.  It is so important that God even included it in the Ten Commandments.  “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.”  Exodus 20:12 LSB  Ephesians 6:1-3 reiterates this, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long in the land.” LSB   In His wisdom, Solomon also encouraged children to, “Keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching,”  Proverbs 6:20 LSB and “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”  Proverbs 23:22 LSB  While most of these instructions apply to children under the authority of their parents, the admonition to honor parents certainly applies to adults treating their parents with respect and taking care of them when they are old.  This instruction is not conditional.  It does not say that we are supposed to obey our parents when they are right or if they are following the Lord.  God has given us the parents we have and has placed them in authority over us.  Unless they are telling us to do things that are specifically contrary to God’s word, we are expected to obey them.  God will honor our obedience and will bless us if we honor our parents.

Verse 21 instructs fathers not to exasperate their children, so that they don’t lose heart.  Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” LSB   As a parent, I have to confess that I have not always followed this teaching.  I can recall times when I just wanted them to do what I said and my anger caused them to respond in anger and frustration.  Instead of taking the time to explain what I expected them to do and why it was important, I reacted in anger which did not produce the results I desired.  I can even think of a couple of times when I didn’t understand the situation and I punished them without the full story.  This caused frustration and hurt feelings that could have been avoided if I had taken the time to listen to them.  Parenting is hard.  We aren’t going to get it right every time.  We have to keep in mind that our goal is to raise godly adults who love the Lord.  The only way we can achieve that is by humbly seeking God through prayer and seeking the counsel of other godly parents who are working toward the same goal.  When we mess up, we confess it, and try to do better the next time.  If we seek Him, He will give us the wisdom and strength to bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.