Unwholesome Talk

September 6

Song of Solomon 5-6

Psalm 102:15-22

Proverbs 22:3-4

Ephesians 4:17-32

Unwholesome Talk

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:29, 32 NIV

This passage gives us no wiggle room.  It covers everything.  Unwholesome talk is all encompassing.  It includes everything from cussing, taking the Lord’s name in vain, lying, gossip, outbursts of anger, tearing others down, slander, exaggerating, course jokes, idle chatter, complaining, and I could go on and on.  Instead of making a long list of all the things we are not supposed to do, Paul told us how to determine if something is appropriate to say or not.  The question we need to ask ourselves is whether it builds others up according to their needs and if it is a benefit to those who are listening.  So the standard is not only if it is uplifting but it focuses the question on the person you are speaking to.  So it isn’t asking if you think it should build them up or if it is beneficial in general, but rather if it will build them up based on their particular needs at the moment and whether it will benefit them specifically.  For example, what I am saying to them may be true and factual, but it may not be something that I need to say.  It may be gossiping for me to tell someone about a situation even if what I am saying is true.   It may be hurtful or it may be that the timing is not right and they are not ready to hear it. It is important to examine our motives to determine if what we are saying is based on our love for them or if it is coming from a place of anger, jealousy, hurt, etc.   This could also apply to telling someone what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear.  Going along with them when you know it isn’t right is not beneficial to them.  It is easier not to confront them, but you may need to say difficult things in order to encourage them in their walk with Jesus.  This is a hard standard.  Unfortunately, none of us are able to do this 100% of the time.  It takes prayer and listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit to be able to control our tongues and avoid unwholesome talk. 

Paul goes even further when he tells us to be kind and compassionate to one another and to forgive others because we have been forgiven by Christ.  If our goal is to be kind and compassionate it will have an impact on our speech.  Instead of flying off the handle in anger, we will give a gentle answer.  Instead of repeating gossip, we will choose our words carefully and think before we speak.  We will be honest in our interactions with people.  Instead of grumbling and complaining, we will have a grateful heart that overflows with words of thanksgiving.  Idle chatter will be replaced with conversations that point people to Jesus and are encouraging and uplifting.  And instead of holding grudges, we will be quick to offer forgiveness and healing in our relationships.  Thinking before we speak can avoid a lot of the problems we have with our mouths.